Vartika's World

I will always fall for the trap of trying. Don’t confine me in the prison of perfection. I want to dance with wobbly steps, trying to catch up with the rhythm of the song  and my inhibitions at the same time. I want to sing in a hoarse sound, where my notes are all over the place. I want to make art where a person also kind of looks like an animal. I want to make recipes just like my mom does, fail at them terribly, and end up creating a version of my own. It doesn’t have to be delicious. It just has to exist. Even if it is not my comfort meal, it is something that came from my conscience. I want things to get messy and then clean it all up, leaving some spots involuntarily; a reminder that nothing ever completely goes away. I want the things I create to carry a piece of me, a piece that is so innately me that I never question my own authenticity. I want my hair to be messy, just like my thoughts are sometimes. I want to wear lipstick even if it is smudged at the corners. I want to...

Just like you didn’t mean to burn the toast, life sometimes surprises you with outcomes you didn’t plan for, no matter how carefully you thought things through. You just have to go through life without a manual and figure things out as you go. Burnt toast has a bitter taste, much like the tough experiences in life that leave an unpleasant mark and linger longer than you'd like. But there is still a silver lining. Such experiences make you a wiser person. If it won't be bitter, you won't pay attention next time.  Even when burnt, parts of the toast can still be eaten. Similarly, even when life feels messed up, there’s usually something salvageable or a lesson to carry forward. You always have to look at a situation with a problem-solving approach rather than a victim approach because a victim mindset will only take you so far. The smell of burnt toast might snap you out of autopilot just like life’s “burnt” moments can jolt you into awareness and make you reconsider your pac...

The seasons keep changing outside, but in my room, it is always late September. A strange, stretch of time: neither summer nor yet winter. Just a long inhale that never gets to be exhaled. There’s only one portal to the outside world: a tiny window. It lets in slivers of light, moments of wind, just enough to remind me that the world is still alive. Just enough to keep me informed that it moves on with or without me. What about the door, you might ask? The door is not for me to use. It’s too much of an opening. Too much air, too many possibilities. Too much exposure. If I opened it, the fragile insect that’s been growing inside me for some time, that secret, that feeble trembling being, might not survive. This insect is strange. It keeps me sane and drives me mad at the same time. I don’t know if it’s my conscience, or my soul. But I do know this, it throws a new tantrum every day. And oddly, each tantrum gives me a reason to live just one more day. It thrives in the dampness of autu...

Lipstick smudges in the corners of the wilted pages of my favorite book tell a love story. One I ache to step into, to breathe its air, taste its grief, and suffer the horrors of actually living as a possible human being. My own life feels like that of a stone with a pulse, unmoved except when I live vicariously through the fictional souls crafted by real people whose own lives, weren’t enough to satisfy the tragedy of being human. So I’ve rented an apartment in fiction, tucked away in my head. I live there like a tenant, paying rent in illusions, wallpapering the walls with borrowed dreams to hide a void too vast and too dark to step into.

Dear Diary, Today, I tried making a recipe—just like Mum. I failed. Dear Diary, Today, I tried something new. It wasn’t perfect. But I savoured the process. And, truth be told, it wasn’t half bad. We spend our lives chasing perfection— Striving to get things “just right,” Holding our breath for the best possible outcome. But somewhere along the way, we forget: There is no such thing as the best. In theory, a cricketer in a T20 match could score 720 runs— Six runs off every ball. Perfect. At least on paper. But we don’t account for no-balls, wides, strike rotations, the chaos between deliveries. Life is just like that match. Wickets fall. People leave. Wide balls happen. And sometimes, those we thought were forever Turn out to be seasonal flus— Brief, burning, gone. Nothing is permanent. And there is no universal rulebook on how to live. No perfect method. No flawless recipe. The only way to live life right Is to live it for real. To show up, imperfectl...

On the walls of delusion in my mind,   There hangs a portrait of reality.   I often walk past it,   Sometimes stopping to give it a long, lingering stare.   But only from a distance I am intrigued by its details,   Yet overwhelmed by the chaos it brings.   This is the world I am meant to inhabit,   Yet how can I belong to it   When I am truly here,   Stuck between worlds?   A tap on my shoulder I turn to find a version of myself,   A whisper: “You don’t belong there.”   Now, I stand at the edge,   Caught between fighting my reality   And embracing the one I long to join.   I delay, but time never waits.   The moment is here,   I must step into the real world now,   Face its chaos head-on.   So I push forward,   Drawing closer to the reality I’ve feared,   Leaving behind a world of...

Cheers to being comfortable in your own skin Cheers to those stretch marks that identify growth and gain  Cheers to that uneven skintone that makes you human and not a mannequin Cheers to those pimples that give you a red flush and ensures that there is blood flowing in your veins  Cheers to that crooked smile which makes it even more real than it already is Cheers to those hidden and unhidden scars holding sweet sour and bitter memories  Cheers to those dark circles that remind you of sleepless nights of hardwork  And a great round of applause for that feeling of anxiety and uneasiness that makes you feel your heart in your chest

आज कॉलेज से घर जाते वक्त सड़क पर पड़े सूखे पत्तों को देखा तो पता चला पतझड़ आ गया है। सर्दियां पूरी तरह से जा चुकी है और मौसम में गर्माहट होनी शुरू हो गई है। यूंही पत्तों को निहारते मेरी नज़र ऊंचे खड़े सूखे पेड़ों पर पड़ी मानो वो मुझसे कुछ कहना चाह रहे हो। दो सूखी टहनियां मानो जिंदगी का सार बता रही हों। उन पेड़ों को छुआ तो वो सूखे सूखे से थे जैसे शोक में डूबे हों पर कुछ देर ठहरने के बाद मैने जाना कि सिर्फ ऊपरी परत सूखी थी और अंदर से वो अभी भी नर्म थे। इससे मैने जाना कि वो पेड़ दुखी तो हैं पर अंदर से बैसाख के इंतजार में हैं। उन पेड़ों से पांच मिनट की मुलाकात ने मेरा दिन उम्मीद से भर दिया। मुझे जीवन में एक किरण दिखाई दी कि चाहे वक्त कितना भी खराब क्यों न हो उस पर उदास होना गलत नही है पर अंदर से उम्मीद हमेशा रहनी चाहिए कि सब ठीक हो जाएगा। जैसे पेड़ बाहर से कितने भी सूखे न हों उनके अंदर की नर्माहत उन्हे जिंदा रखती है और जब वो नर्माहट खतम हो जाती है तो पेड़ मार जाता है वैसे ही मनुष्य के अंदर से जब उम्मीद खतम हो जाती है तो वो मर जाता है और उसके जीवन का कोई मतलब नहीं रह जाता। 

Heya People!! Today's topic is, as you have read- "Body Positivity". Like most of the topics of my blog, this one is also kinda close to my heart. I am someone who have been insecure about the way I look for the most of the time. My initial insecurity was my body weight. The reasons for me being underweight were many. I had this thought in my mind that if I will eat than I will get fat. And when I got to know that this is not the case, it was too late. My body no longer accepted the quantum of food I should be eating. Moreover, in my growing years I was mostly ill, the reason being I was not eating healthy and enough. This thing also led to my second insecurity that was my height. I am 5'1" which is an average height of an Indian girl. But most of my teenage years I was insecure that I didn't look of the age I was. I was underweight and short! my worst two nightmares combined.  Now you must be wondering Vartika enough of the plot building. Tell us...

Hey people!! long time, no see. This time I am trying to address an issue that is kind of omnipresent these days, especially in young generation. I am going to keep this short and sweet.  As hustle culture is overtaking, people are more likely to burnout and that is where the idea of taking break comes in. In my previous blogs I have always stressed upon taking break and living life on your on pace. But the harsh realty is that world's not gonna wait for you. It's okay to take a step back sometimes or taking rest, but it is also important to get back to your job and get things done.  More we try to be easy on ourselves, more are the chances of us to become lazy and holding ourselves back. Point here is that take breaks, take rest but don't let it become your natural state. These days I have seen a culture that people promote smart work, but smart is the person who gets things done and not the one who sits back and see others achieving their goals. One thing that a person sh...

क्यों हर सवाल का जवाब ढूंढ रहे हो ? क्यों खुद में ही उलझ रहे हो ? आओ साथ मिलकर बैठे, कुछ गम तुम बाटो, कुछ खुशियां हम भी भरदे।। जिंदगी नही आसान ऐ दोस्त, तुम भी समझ गए और हम भी। चलो अपने राज़ एक दूसरे को बता दे, वज़न कंधो से हटा दे, तुम भी और हम भी ।। आज साथ बैठकर रो लेते हैं, कल साथ में हसेंगे । वादा है तुमसे ऐ दोस्त, जब भी मिलेंगे खूब किस्से सुनाएंगे, तुम भी और हम भी ।। 

I started writing I was not sure if I will continue it or not. I was not even sure whether I will be publishing my second blog or not. But what motivated me? My self esteem, my believe in myself that I am good at writing. NO! not at all. Before all this I never even considered myself as a writer. Just before the beginning of my college life, started my writing journey. At first I shared my blogs with people I know. I was sure they won't say anything that will break my confidence at the same time they will be honest enough to let me know where I can make required changes. But what they did? They did exactly as I expected. They complimented me for my writing and enlightened me where I can make changes to make my writing better. My sister played a major role correcting my grammatical mistakes and helped me stick to conventional English so that I don't use abbreviations that no one will understand.  Okay! so after that came a phase when I started sharing my blogs with m...

Have you ever been so busy in work purposely because you don't want to spend time with yourself alone? Deep down you know that being alone will bring back all that you are running from. But why are you running? Why you are so afraid of facing your own self? Well these questions are now forcing you to talk to yourself. Go for it. Listen to what your mind and heart is screaming to you.  You might have a hundred people to share your feelings with but if you won't listen to yourself first, none of them will be able to help. I am not a psychologist but all I have known from my own experiences is that you are your own best friend and the biggest enemy at the same time. So, it's your choice what you want yourself to turn for yourself. Kinda confusing, right? But there are a zillion things going on in your mind that you need to organise for yourself. No one will do that for you. 

Well this has always been a topic of debate that whether men are superior or women. In order to simply win the argument we often forget that we are humans first. Gender might make us all different but we still are humans and several other points of differentiation don't really matter much. Earlier I wrote a blog in which I wrote about my views on feminism and how equality is important for women. But somewhere fighting for equality for women, we often forget that men are humans too. They also have their own struggles. Just imagine that you are overwhelmed with feelings and emotions but you are not supposed to cry because you are a men. Anyone can cry. It is important to let things out. Also, men are always expected to earn more than their better half, why so? What if he is more into house chores or their can be other reasons that they can never share. Every person have his/her struggle and as much as it is important to stay strong, it is also important to be gentle of on...

Hey! Hope you are fine and not crying because your life is a mess. It is gonna be fine. I know exactly what you are going through and this is going to get worse. But when you will be at your worst, you are gonna rise up from the darkness like a phoenix rises from ash.  You are feeling like your emotions are overpowering you and this is just hormones and situation you are currently in. It's okay to feel things. It's okay to cry over stupid stuffs. What is not okay is let these things consume you. Speak out, stay silent, do whatever makes you feel better today. It's okay to be selfish. What's not okay is self harm and self destruction. So let me begin by addressing things you want to talk least about- your Insecurities. You are insecure about how you look, how you talk, are you even good enough? Will you ever be able to make your parents proud? I have answer to all of these. Looks doesn't matter. Trust me, looks are the first thing that are noticed but the...

So here is to the people who has always got my back. From a small tiny toony compliment to all the big fuss in my life. If you are one of them you already know. When I started writing I never thought that this will one day become my hobby. It all started with a childish poem wrote by a 12 year old to her sister. But I got all the compliments in the world that kept me going. Slowly and steadily I continued writing my thoughts and feelings out which helped me cope with my low phases.  I am a person who is jack of all traits but master of none. So, there is nothing that I can brag about but a lot I can talk about. The first hobby that i took up as a child was dancing. My mamma tried to enroll me for dance classes, proof that she supported me. But I retaliated because classical dance was not my thing. I showed little interest here and there. Then years passed by and hobby never turned into passion.  Then I took up another hobby of singing, not as a performer but alone ...

TTRRIIGGEERRR!!! sounds weird and kinda scary. But I m not talking about a gun but humans in general. I have not studied psychology but one thing that I have observed and learned over a period of time is that you can't judge a person on the basis of what triggers him/her. For some people a normal thing can be a sensitive topic and if that thing doesn't bother you doesn't mean that it won't bother someone else. It is important to respect sentiments of others. It is important to mutually understand things and clear disparities. 

What is women empowerment? Women empowerment refers to the steps taken by individuals, groups or society in general in order to empower women so that they get equal opportunities and are treated like an equal. Women empowerment should not be misinterpreted as a means to disrespect or degrade the position of men in society. It simply means that women should be treated as equal without being discriminated against on the basis of gender.  When we talk about women empowerment, people think that women are weak and they need help to be uplifted. But actually, women are already strong enough. All that we want is to be treated respectfully the way we deserve. Women never ask for respect just because of their gender, women should be respected for the things that they do in the society. Women have played an important role in the upliftment of society. If you are a man and reading this, can you even imagine living a day without women in your life? I won't argue that women are more...

Yeah!! everyone says life is a journey and death is the ultimate destination. But what matters the most is during this journey where you decide to halt, which places you decide to just walk past, what you consider as a milestone. In the journey of life these places are not real places, they are people and experiences.  When we meet someone whos company we enjoy, we decide to hold on to those people. Sometimes we experience moments that we wish never ends, these are the moments we hold on to. These people and moments collect and become our favorite. We wish to go back to those people even if it's difficult. We wish to live those moments again and again through pictures, videos, conversations and sometimes we just talk to ourselves and remind that life is worth living because of those people and moments.  But to the contrary there are some people who don't play any part in our life. There existence doesn't matter to us. And we need to normalize not caring. And it...

Have you ever had a deep conversation in the midnight with someone special? If yes, you know what night can do to you. Sometimes people even regret what they say during such conversations. I am one of them. But one fact that no one can deny is that such conversations at night makes you realize your true feelings. If you are in love or have feelings for the other person, nothing can stop you from admitting it. It is the magic of night, that you feel like talking forever. You don't know how you get the topics but the connection becomes unbreakable and inseparable.  Nights are magical and lucky are those who feel that magic. Nights can make you hear what your heart wants to tell you. Night builds connection between your body and soul.