Letter to my fourteen year self

Hey!

Hope you are fine and not crying because your life is a mess. It is gonna be fine. I know exactly what you are going through and this is going to get worse. But when you will be at your worst, you are gonna rise up from the darkness like a phoenix rises from ash. 

You are feeling like your emotions are overpowering you and this is just hormones and situation you are currently in. It's okay to feel things. It's okay to cry over stupid stuffs. What is not okay is let these things consume you. Speak out, stay silent, do whatever makes you feel better today. It's okay to be selfish. What's not okay is self harm and self destruction.

So let me begin by addressing things you want to talk least about- your Insecurities. You are insecure about how you look, how you talk, are you even good enough? Will you ever be able to make your parents proud? I have answer to all of these. Looks doesn't matter. Trust me, looks are the first thing that are noticed but the last thing that matters. And you are adorable the way you are. All you need is to accept yourself. Give yourself some love and you will become your own favorite person. Next comes the way you talk. Sometimes you are bitter like a bitter gourd but you speak truth and eventually you will meet people who will accept this side of yours and they will know that sweetness is the fakest thing in this world. After this comes your biggest insecurity, your doubt that are you even good enough, I have a diplomatic answer for this one, you are young and you are working on yourself. So the goal should never have to be to become perfect, the goal should be to become the best version of yourself and keep going. You should never stop putting efforts on yourself. Don't give up on yourself, the patience will pay off one day. Last but not the least, you are working hard on yourself, you will make your parents proud. They want to see you happy and successful, not exhausted and tired of life.

My advice to you is that maintain a balance between friends and family. Give time to both as they are all important part of your life, but don't forget to give time to yourself  because it's your life. Also, there are going to be people who will hate you but remember people hate those who are out of there league. First they will try to be your friend but when they will fail to become you or when you won't allow them in your closed circle, they will try to destroy you. Make sure that you don't harm yourself to fit in. Don't change yourself in order to become friends with such toxic people. You will eventually find people who will become your best friends and you will become your happiest self.

Love Love,

Vartika ❤️