Beauty is not in meeting standards of society. Beauty is being urself. This is what the sky teaches us. It stays the way it wants and we find it beautiful.
The seasons keep changing outside, but in my room, it is always late September. A strange, stretch of time: neither summer nor yet winter. Just a long inhale that never gets to be exhaled. There’s only one portal to the outside world: a tiny window. It lets in slivers of light, moments of wind, just enough to remind me that the world is still alive. Just enough to keep me informed that it moves on with or without me. What about the door, you might ask? The door is not for me to use. It’s too much of an opening. Too much air, too many possibilities. Too much exposure. If I opened it, the fragile insect that’s been growing inside me for some time, that secret, that feeble trembling being, might not survive. This insect is strange. It keeps me sane and drives me mad at the same time. I don’t know if it’s my conscience, or my soul. But I do know this, it throws a new tantrum every day. And oddly, each tantrum gives me a reason to live just one more day. It thrives in the dampness of autu...
I will always fall for the trap of trying. Don’t confine me in the prison of perfection. I want to dance with wobbly steps, trying to catch up with the rhythm of the song and my inhibitions at the same time. I want to sing in a hoarse sound, where my notes are all over the place. I want to make art where a person also kind of looks like an animal. I want to make recipes just like my mom does, fail at them terribly, and end up creating a version of my own. It doesn’t have to be delicious. It just has to exist. Even if it is not my comfort meal, it is something that came from my conscience. I want things to get messy and then clean it all up, leaving some spots involuntarily; a reminder that nothing ever completely goes away. I want the things I create to carry a piece of me, a piece that is so innately me that I never question my own authenticity. I want my hair to be messy, just like my thoughts are sometimes. I want to wear lipstick even if it is smudged at the corners. I want to...
On the walls of delusion in my mind, There hangs a portrait of reality. I often walk past it, Sometimes stopping to give it a long, lingering stare. But only from a distance I am intrigued by its details, Yet overwhelmed by the chaos it brings. This is the world I am meant to inhabit, Yet how can I belong to it When I am truly here, Stuck between worlds? A tap on my shoulder I turn to find a version of myself, A whisper: “You don’t belong there.” Now, I stand at the edge, Caught between fighting my reality And embracing the one I long to join. I delay, but time never waits. The moment is here, I must step into the real world now, Face its chaos head-on. So I push forward, Drawing closer to the reality I’ve feared, Leaving behind a world of...